Baby I adore you and I'd do anything for you

All week I have been doing the totally healthy thing. Eating 6 times a day. Small meals. Proteins. No Carbs. It's not awful but tonight I was craving something more then a salad. (I have lost about 5 lbs!!!) I called my favorite thai restaurant and ordered some pad si eiw. While I waited for that to be ready I drove to the liquor store which is totally ghetto and filled with guys speaking in bad grammar and talking about baby mama's. The liquor store is a block from my house but people drive there to get away from the city tax. So while they were swearing and enjoying being obnoxious I grabbed a bottle riesling and a bottle of white zinfendel. Wine and Thai food with Bella as my date was actually a pretty good night. I watched One Tree Hill which I haven't watched since the first season but it has totally sucked me in. (If that stupid nanny gets with nathan i will stop watching again!!) Just like Grey's which I have basically ignored all season and the last episode pulled me right back in. I will not be watching Rock of Love unless most of the episodes air and I end up watching a marathon, which is what happened last time. I LOVE How to Look Good Naked and I love Carson!! All women should watch that show because he is absolutely amazing with the girls!!

I need to add working out back in but I am concentrating on eating well and plan to add in the working out more this week. I built a ton of stuff from Ikea this weekend and I am sooo sore. I have a new dining room table, new drawer/table thing, cabinent for shoes and purses and scarves and what not and a new lamp. After I built everything on Sunday night I cleaned some and cleaned up more yesterday and took pictures for the Israeli. Tonight I finally got to relax and treated myself with the thai food. Glitter is in Cali and my other gfs also live far and I did kind of want some company so I called up an old friend...

I don't know if "friend" is even the right word. I don't know what to feel about this girl. I want to like her, she isn't a bad person per say but so fucked up and lives in a fantasy world. When I was first dating the Israeli she would say things like oh yeah he called me to come over blah blah and I'd be like that's weird cause I was with him all night and slept over.... So she knew she was lying but she just...she didn't want him but she wanted what I had. She wants happiness and has a hard time finding it for herself so she thinks if she takes someone else's it will work for her. I guess she could be called Toxic. I once had a therapist who told me "If you had a beautiful glass of pure sparkling water, the best in the world, and then someone put a drop of cyanide in it, would you drink if?" and that makes a lot of sense. No matter how much fun or good a person have, if there is something that toxic you have to stay away from the rest to protect yourself. I answered my won question. As lonely as I can be and how much I miss a fun gf I guess I should stay away. But she was fun at times. I miss having a steady girlfriend to hang out with. I love just saying hey I'm coming to get you and doing random shopping trips, Target, dinner etc.

I have some work friend that are girls, the one I really like has 4 kids though and lives far away. There is another one but I don't know, we seem like we would click but something feels off for me although she is awesome. We have coffee plans after work in Thursday so I guess we'll see. Flower is fun but again 3 kids don't really spell spontaneous and whenever hang outs. Toxic wants to get sushi tomorrow night and drinks. Should I go? Whats that saying, loose lips sink ships? Hmmm

God I miss the Israeli. It's unfucking believable. I miss his face, his body, his lips, his hair, the way we fall asleep together, his smell. Here is something so embarrassing, I smell his deodorant and wear it because it reminds me of him. I have forgone my lovely dove deodorant because I just want to feel close to him and I LOVE the scent. I know it is only 34 more days but I am starting to get antsy. We talk everyday and all I can picture is getting to pick him up from the airport. Will we hug and kiss like crazy when I see him. Should I park or wait outside with the car? I am dying to just lay down and watch him watch seinfeld and breathe him in. To suffocate myself in his chest when he sleeps and holds me.

People are always surprised at how I adore him and am still so giddy about him but I say, why the fuck not? I will thank god if I can always feel this way. Excited to see him every time, loving him, and genuinely appreciating him. The man who lets me do anything, be anyone, respects me and would never ask of me what he wouldn't do for me himself.

He has beautiful brown eyes, dark brown/black hair that is perfectly soft and shiny and falls in soft waves when long and looks hot short, tall (6 ft), lean and muscular, the softest lips and skin, the gentlest touch yet firm enough to reassure me. The best thing though about his, his heart. If you ask anyone to ddescribe him the first thing, before that fact he is extremely hansom and funny is that he has a good heart. When that is the first thing you can think of about a person that person is something special.

Okay enough sappy stuff, something cool this week I found on ancestry.com this week. My mother came from Italy when she was a little girl and I found the original passengers list of the ship when she came over. It had her name, my uncle and my grandmas. I found my grandfather's too from 2 years earlier. Amazing.
I also got a passive aggressive email from my dad in North Carolina about how the original family last name (before he changed it something totally white so as not to be though of as Spanish) has some jewish origins which would matter since as he put it...well here is the email....

" This is my last e-mail to you so you don't need to worry about answering it. I just wanted to pass on some information that might be of interest to you. I have been doing research on my father's family and it turns out that the name XXXXXX has always been a name of jewish origin. As you know my father's family came from Spain and Portugal. The name is Sephardic Jew in origin (family geneology.com). I am quite certain The Isralei could tell you more. I understand that Israel does not recognize civil marriages only religious jewish ones so I thought this might be of interest. As I have not spoken to your mother since your brother's wedding I do not expect to hear from her either. In the future please feel free to contact me via e-mail and if that method is too uncomfortable for you then simply speak to your brother.
As always
First inital. Last name"

So yeah. Love the passive aggressive. If I could trace my roots back to a jewish woman that would be great but unlikely. I am wondering if it is wrong to try and be nice to see if he could help me since my mom's side of the family is italian for hundreds of years back.

Well, off to bed. Bella is sleeping on the chair with me (well behind me) and is letting me know we need to hit the bed. A quick shower and I should sleep well after the wine.

Oh yeah, as for the title, I must adore him because I sent a package today to him that cost me $158 to ship!! I wanted to make sure he got it before he goes to Thailand and fed ex is better and more reliable through customs then the post office. I do adore him....

I’ve got a way of knowing when something is right

What a crazy week it has been. A lot of ups and downs. New Years was quiet. Saw some friends and went home early. Last year was a lot more fun but c'est la vie. The Isreali was feeling really bad from his surgery and apparently lost like 10 lbs, which since he is already thin, is nuts! He sent me a cute email this morning which was nice to wake up to. I am almost half way there. Him being gone definitely makes me emotional in ways I don't realize apparently. (Can we talk about why I am listening to Whitney Houstons 'Where do broken hearts go'?) I have a lot of things going on to focus on and get ready before he comes home though.

Get in shape. He likes my body this way and I don't mind it but I want to lose weight and shape up.
Work out. I am starting to go in the mornings and sometimes after work. I need to go 5-6 days a week.
Eat Better. Went grocery shopping. Shopping cart full of fruits and veggies. Lots of Salad. Oil and Vinegar with Lemon for dressing. Chicken breasts. Sugar Free Jello. Anything low cal and no carbs! Bottled Water and an occasional Diet Coke. Tuna. Boca Burgers. Desperately wanted to add in some Corona or wine but refrained. I guess this means no more Thai take out or Schawarma. *sigh* I could live on pad see eiw and wine.

Apartment. I want to redo the kitchen area. Also the laundry area. I basically want this---> God bless Ikea. inexpensive, easy, and looks organized. I am also getting a new rug and we are redoing the tile. Good times. I love new things. I might repaint as well. The red wall in the bedroom is definitely staying though. I think we need a plasma tv in there though. I don;t usually like tv's in bedrooms or maybe that is a leftover from my last relationship. (Remind me to write about that, good god the horror stories!). The Israeli likes to fall asleep to the tv and especially Seinfeld so I think to ensure him falling asleep in bed and not on the sofa, a tv is needed. Besides, laying in bed comfortable and watching shows with The Israeli seems good to me, especially since I think it will increase the amount of sex we're having. With his hours and tendency to fall asleep on the sofa and my work hours, it's not as often as I'd like (but then again, I could do it with him all the time, everyday so....)

I have this big test in March and the books I need to study for are coming on Monday. It's a 305 multiple choice exam. It's an exam to get a license for a business. I want to open this business and first I need to pass this test and then get a name, insurance, etc etc and I can quit my 9-5. I might end up working even more but at least it will be for myself and the Israeli. This field is not something I know anything about but I can study my ass off for the next few months and he can come home and teach me what I don't know. I mean, there are things that a doctor might take a test for but has never actually done so I figure I am book smart and can learn this. Wish me luck. This can be life changing. I want the kind of life where I have a ton of savings, where I can travel, where if I want to go and buy a LV or Dior purse, I can go in and not blink (and still eat the rest of the month). I want to be able to live well, not extravagant but with a few nice things here and there. I am not afraid of hard work, I love it.

Today I need to hit the mall and get a present for Mr. Gucci's bday. I am going to see him and the family later. Love those 2 little girls and his wife, she is like my fashion idol. Every time I wear something she picked out for me I get a million compliments. Plus nobody can find better sales then her. He is a hard person to shop for but we have a nice expensive mall here so I am sure I can find something. I know gift certificates are kind of impersonal but he is a very picky person.

I really need to do a survey for this. And start commenting on all the blogs I read.

If you were a wink, I'd be a nod...

Go see Juno. Right now. Stop reading and see this movie. I fell in love with it. Glitter, Armenian, and I went. It was the right songs, the right emotions, the right lines, the timing was impeccable. Nothing could be better about it. It made me like Jennifer Garner which I didn't think was possible. I liked Ellen Page in Hard Candy and she made me love her again her even though it took me time to adjust to her small size. Michael Cera..who doesn't love him? He is the kind of guy all girls love. A Jake Ryan type if you will. Very rare. So go see this movie because with all the crap out there, when a movie this touching and real comes along, you have to support it so they make more. (There was a preview for a movie with Matthew 'shortarms' Mcconaughey and kate 'cheating in a marriage is ok' hudson and who the hell wants to see that garbage??)

Side note. Woke up and worked out this morning. Wow. Good time on the elliptical, my favorite machine. I want to lose some weight and tone up and surprise the Israeli. 53 more days without his smile, arms around me, not being able to kiss his back when we sleep. *le sigh* Could I miss him any more then I do? Don't think so but even for a movie like this, Glitter is THE perfect movie buddy. I am excited for the next few days.

Oh my god. How could I forgot. To Promote 27 Dresses they had a girl very similar looking to Katherine Heigel wearing this dress!! She was just standing there is the same pose while mostly creepy guys sat and stared. She freaked me out because she was so still from the back she looked like a mannequin and then all of a sudden moved bit and I jumped, grabbing onto Glitter. I wonder if they are doing this everywhere and for how long. We were at a 9:55 show and she was there so damn, long day!! Let me know if anyone else sees this....