Baby I adore you and I'd do anything for you

All week I have been doing the totally healthy thing. Eating 6 times a day. Small meals. Proteins. No Carbs. It's not awful but tonight I was craving something more then a salad. (I have lost about 5 lbs!!!) I called my favorite thai restaurant and ordered some pad si eiw. While I waited for that to be ready I drove to the liquor store which is totally ghetto and filled with guys speaking in bad grammar and talking about baby mama's. The liquor store is a block from my house but people drive there to get away from the city tax. So while they were swearing and enjoying being obnoxious I grabbed a bottle riesling and a bottle of white zinfendel. Wine and Thai food with Bella as my date was actually a pretty good night. I watched One Tree Hill which I haven't watched since the first season but it has totally sucked me in. (If that stupid nanny gets with nathan i will stop watching again!!) Just like Grey's which I have basically ignored all season and the last episode pulled me right back in. I will not be watching Rock of Love unless most of the episodes air and I end up watching a marathon, which is what happened last time. I LOVE How to Look Good Naked and I love Carson!! All women should watch that show because he is absolutely amazing with the girls!!

I need to add working out back in but I am concentrating on eating well and plan to add in the working out more this week. I built a ton of stuff from Ikea this weekend and I am sooo sore. I have a new dining room table, new drawer/table thing, cabinent for shoes and purses and scarves and what not and a new lamp. After I built everything on Sunday night I cleaned some and cleaned up more yesterday and took pictures for the Israeli. Tonight I finally got to relax and treated myself with the thai food. Glitter is in Cali and my other gfs also live far and I did kind of want some company so I called up an old friend...

I don't know if "friend" is even the right word. I don't know what to feel about this girl. I want to like her, she isn't a bad person per say but so fucked up and lives in a fantasy world. When I was first dating the Israeli she would say things like oh yeah he called me to come over blah blah and I'd be like that's weird cause I was with him all night and slept over.... So she knew she was lying but she just...she didn't want him but she wanted what I had. She wants happiness and has a hard time finding it for herself so she thinks if she takes someone else's it will work for her. I guess she could be called Toxic. I once had a therapist who told me "If you had a beautiful glass of pure sparkling water, the best in the world, and then someone put a drop of cyanide in it, would you drink if?" and that makes a lot of sense. No matter how much fun or good a person have, if there is something that toxic you have to stay away from the rest to protect yourself. I answered my won question. As lonely as I can be and how much I miss a fun gf I guess I should stay away. But she was fun at times. I miss having a steady girlfriend to hang out with. I love just saying hey I'm coming to get you and doing random shopping trips, Target, dinner etc.

I have some work friend that are girls, the one I really like has 4 kids though and lives far away. There is another one but I don't know, we seem like we would click but something feels off for me although she is awesome. We have coffee plans after work in Thursday so I guess we'll see. Flower is fun but again 3 kids don't really spell spontaneous and whenever hang outs. Toxic wants to get sushi tomorrow night and drinks. Should I go? Whats that saying, loose lips sink ships? Hmmm

God I miss the Israeli. It's unfucking believable. I miss his face, his body, his lips, his hair, the way we fall asleep together, his smell. Here is something so embarrassing, I smell his deodorant and wear it because it reminds me of him. I have forgone my lovely dove deodorant because I just want to feel close to him and I LOVE the scent. I know it is only 34 more days but I am starting to get antsy. We talk everyday and all I can picture is getting to pick him up from the airport. Will we hug and kiss like crazy when I see him. Should I park or wait outside with the car? I am dying to just lay down and watch him watch seinfeld and breathe him in. To suffocate myself in his chest when he sleeps and holds me.

People are always surprised at how I adore him and am still so giddy about him but I say, why the fuck not? I will thank god if I can always feel this way. Excited to see him every time, loving him, and genuinely appreciating him. The man who lets me do anything, be anyone, respects me and would never ask of me what he wouldn't do for me himself.

He has beautiful brown eyes, dark brown/black hair that is perfectly soft and shiny and falls in soft waves when long and looks hot short, tall (6 ft), lean and muscular, the softest lips and skin, the gentlest touch yet firm enough to reassure me. The best thing though about his, his heart. If you ask anyone to ddescribe him the first thing, before that fact he is extremely hansom and funny is that he has a good heart. When that is the first thing you can think of about a person that person is something special.

Okay enough sappy stuff, something cool this week I found on ancestry.com this week. My mother came from Italy when she was a little girl and I found the original passengers list of the ship when she came over. It had her name, my uncle and my grandmas. I found my grandfather's too from 2 years earlier. Amazing.
I also got a passive aggressive email from my dad in North Carolina about how the original family last name (before he changed it something totally white so as not to be though of as Spanish) has some jewish origins which would matter since as he put it...well here is the email....

" This is my last e-mail to you so you don't need to worry about answering it. I just wanted to pass on some information that might be of interest to you. I have been doing research on my father's family and it turns out that the name XXXXXX has always been a name of jewish origin. As you know my father's family came from Spain and Portugal. The name is Sephardic Jew in origin (family geneology.com). I am quite certain The Isralei could tell you more. I understand that Israel does not recognize civil marriages only religious jewish ones so I thought this might be of interest. As I have not spoken to your mother since your brother's wedding I do not expect to hear from her either. In the future please feel free to contact me via e-mail and if that method is too uncomfortable for you then simply speak to your brother.
As always
First inital. Last name"

So yeah. Love the passive aggressive. If I could trace my roots back to a jewish woman that would be great but unlikely. I am wondering if it is wrong to try and be nice to see if he could help me since my mom's side of the family is italian for hundreds of years back.

Well, off to bed. Bella is sleeping on the chair with me (well behind me) and is letting me know we need to hit the bed. A quick shower and I should sleep well after the wine.

Oh yeah, as for the title, I must adore him because I sent a package today to him that cost me $158 to ship!! I wanted to make sure he got it before he goes to Thailand and fed ex is better and more reliable through customs then the post office. I do adore him....