Insomnia

For the last week I can barely get more then 2 hours of sleep at night.

I am moving April 1st. I am taking Bella but he gets everything else. We are till "friends". If by friends you mean he calls me for questions, favors, etc and does exactly what he wants when he wants.

He loves her. She will be coming to America in the next few months. They fight more in a day then we ever did but that doesn't matter. I have learned that at my best he will love her more at her worst. I may be the good choice but I am not his choice.

The sick thing is I would stop the moving process and go back to him if eh only wanted me. Since he has been back, almost a month, he has not even once tried to touch me. Very humiliating.

I am drinking jack and diet coke but even that isn't helping.

Basically, I am not his "100%" but I am high up there. Apparently fighting all the time and dating a girl that almost rips up your passport, changes your flight tickets, and fakes/tries to get pregnant, is just better then 90% or so.

I know I should hate him not her but she is just poison. It is his mistake to make and I hate I can do nothing.

I am registering for school for summer. I have a new place in April. I lost some weight. Stopped sleeping. Trying to smile.

All I can do is move on. Do my best. Learn to love me. Wish me luck.