Shiskappeal

I saw my Israeli boy band yesterday. I call them that because they are a group of 5 great looking nice guys that are always together and each are different but go together perfectly. Hung out, they cooked, I broke a plastic fork trying to cut something in front of them which was basically mortifying but I got over it fast.

Work is going better. A faster computer has decreased my workload by about half so that is great.

I had a great time with my friends mom yesterday who is orthodox and answered a lot of my questions about conversion. I am getting serious. Next step, picking a Rabbi to sponsor me.

Clean and clear morning burst is actually pretty amazing. I use the moisturizer too. Absolutely amazing and does wake you up in the morning.

I am missing Eli but the separation is okay. It;s hard to imagine him half way around the world doing so much I will never know, understand, even know about. Being in the house without him is weird again. I can understand why he always slept on the sofa. Without him here, the bedroom doesn't hold much appeal for me. More then anything I still miss sleeping with him. I hope everything is going well. I am not going to call or email him, I am giving him space and I don't need any problems with his psycho gf.

Here is my list of things that are important for me to do.

1) finish degree. fuck philosophy, i am going to do the easiest major at my college and get a communications degree. philosophy i will minor in or study for fun only
2) orthodox conversion. recognized in Israel.
3)travel
4)learn hebrew
5)lose 25lbs by my birthday in august.

I had a semi hook up with an old friend on saturday night. not much changes. he is hot and comfortable.

and cums in 10 seconds.

but this happens to me a lot, guys cum fast. apparently i give a good bj.

i wonder if i convert will i have a different view on sex? sometimes i think how it doesn't bother me to let the people i like touch me. i dont see it as bad. i mean tony and i have a 9 year history. sometime hooking up with him, or some of my ex's/friends, its becomes neither here nor there. just something i enjoy and like more then i mind, ya know? i told miami that i don't want to talk to him much anymore. it is more of a bother then a jyo and he wont be back here for a few months and i just wasn't feeling what i wanted to feel. i know the feleings i have had and i am not settling for less when i am happy alone.

this madonna song 'jump' is not bad.